How to find a good husband

What could a eighty-year-old grandfather know about how to find a good husband? That’s a really good question and I should probably explain why that is so.

To start with, women are the worst treated people in the world. Most men would agree that it’s a man’s world. Most women do not get paid the same as men, and I recently noted that the stock of one company went down when a woman was added to the board of directors. Personally, that is just appalling as it is quite possible that the new female board of directors may be smarter than the men on the board.

I guess the problem is the word female.

That’s where things part between me and many of my male friends, as I see great value in women and always have.

My most wonderful wife from the start of our marriage made it OK to have women friends. I guess the reason for writing this is that I see so many women being abused by men.

I absolutely admire the little differences between men and women. Below is a list that I see:

• You can Love or may need love.
• You can listen.
• You can laugh and smile.
• You can be supportive and understanding.
• You can love others and yourself (absolutely necessary).
• You can be positive.
• You have a glowing inner beauty.
• You can be forgiving and finally the most wonderful thing for last
• You can create by making choices (this is the best part).

Notice all the above points begin with YOU because it all starts with you. You will have to live with you all your life. If you can’t see your worth, then it will be almost impossible to have any type of good and lasting relationship with others. So think about YOU. You have your whole life ahead of YOU.

I think the worst part of failed marriages is caused by men who do not see the worth in their wives. There seem to be fewer and fewer good men that would make good lovers, friends, husbands, and fathers.

I have a wife who is worth a king’s ransom and the glitter of diamonds and gold fails in comparison to equal her brilliance and quality.

Most women are more trusting than men and there lies the problem.

There is the trust thing that does not fit with reality. The reality is that men are generally messed up and don’t really understand what it is to be a man or they are just in it for themselves. There is not much that can be done about that.

Even worse many women think that they can change a man into this Pollyanna ideal person they dream about. Or even worse, he is horrible and nasty but I love him so I’ll just let him mess up my life!

Note Here: Love can completely destroy being rational.

So the real reason for writing this is that I want to be your grandfather at least in this post. I want to tell you that women are wasting their trust if they are being taken for granted or abused. And generally, women are really bad judges of men.

Women can be so wonderful and trusting, but that is where the trouble can start.

Choices
So let’s go back to choices. You will make a lot of them in your life, so make sure that the choices are about you.

They should be about your welfare. They should be productive choices. They should be loving choices and they should be realistic choices. You must also understand that there can be bad choices or choices that are not available to you.

So let’s end this with this section. It’s all about you. Take care of yourself first. There is nothing wrong with making yourself first.

Women are amazing wonderful people. If you are a member of this group so are you.

Of the many billions of women alive on this earth today each one is as different as they are beautiful just like snowflakes.

The difference in each one is where the value lies. Hear that Men?

Here is the big question

How many lives do you have? Of course, you just have one.

Life and your life is precious as you only get one. You only get perhaps one chance to make that life a productive and rewarding one. That in itself is a good enough reason to find just that right person to spend and GIVE your precious life too and spend with. If you make the wrong choice, then that one life can be a miserable one. It’s not worth it so make that choice a good one. Don’t just jump into things. Take your time and choose wisely. You have the power of choice.

The Universe needs you to love and LOVE IS A CHOICE.

What good would the universe be without you? Your love is an integral part of the universe. It would be less if you were not a part of it. That’s how important you are.

A good husband would be someone that thinks you are special and wonderful and wants to help and participate in doing the things that are important to you. A good wife would do the same thing for her husband. A good husband realizes that it’s not all about him but both of you.

Men

The first thing if you are a female is that you need to know that there is nothing deep about men.

Men are mostly you get what you see types of thing. Another thing about men is that it is hard to see the difference between a good and kind one and someone that just wants you to satisfy them.

The sleazy worthless types will lie and try to deceive and are good at it. It takes a long time for a male to grow up and be responsible. Some never get to that point and never grow up.

Men can be childlike and only think about having a good time.
Good suggestions about men — Never trust one at first!
Another good suggestion about men is — You can’t train them or change them.
Another good suggestion about men is — Having a baby will NEVER make things better.

Many men are self-centered egocentric types. Many men mostly only think about themselves. Very few men think about finding a wife and having a family and what that involves.

Many men have no idea how to evaluate a female. Mostly it’s all about looks and having fun. Many men need a woman to explain what they should do and what they want. When it comes to relationships, most men are not well-schooled.

How to evaluate a man

Keep away from the following men:
• Lives at home with his parents.
• Has a filthy mouth.
• Has poor or no manners.
• Did not graduate from high school.
• Needs a bath and a haircut.
• Talks down to you.
• Suggests you need to do xxx, yyy and zzz.
• Can’t keep his hands off you.
• Hates dogs and cats.
• Has a huge amount of debt.
• Always talks about sex.
• Has a poor relationship with his mother and father and family.
• Argues and is always right and opinionated.
• Has poor use of the English language.
• Has no idea what his future would be and should be.
• Has poor money management habits.
• Knows what is best for you.
• Thinks he owns you.
• Have no morals and ethics.
• Can’t be trusted
• Has an agenda
This could go on and on and I bet you can add a few more.

Moving in
This almost never works and the only advantage is for the male. It’s like having a wife or mistress with no responsibilities. I can almost guarantee that is how most males will probably look at it.

How can you make a commitment if you don’t make one? Marriage is a huge commitment. While you may think you are making one by living together, you really aren’t. If it doesn’t work, just walk away. Many of these arrangements that end up in marriage also end up in divorce. Yes, if it does not work, just walk away. Yes. problem solved and life ruined. Good solution.

OK, This is getting long so hang in there and I will get to the end.

Qualities to look for

It really is important that you know what you are looking for in a relationship. The main thing is that a special person should have some endearing qualities. Here are some things that I think you should look for. Remember that you cannot know what a person is like in one day. My wife and I dated for almost a year before we married and there were surprises even after that!

• Has a good social manner.
• Has the same faith as you do. Goes to church on sundays.
• Loves his parents and brothers and sisters
• Looks after his grandmother and grandfather.
• Thinks you are worth more than rubies and gold.
• Is willing to support you in things you want to do.
• Is kind, understanding, giving, and loving.
• Reliable, keeps promises.
• Has a good occupation or good paying job.
• Has gone or is going to college or is training in a needed trade.
• Does not anger easily.
• Would make a good father.
• Has good and long-term friends.
• Has good morals and ethics.
• Creative and funny
• Has a good sense of humor.
• Can be part of a good conversation and is easy to talk with (very important).
• Smiles and laughs when talking about himself.

Do you like the qualities your father has? Then look for them in your relationships. Think about what your mother and father would like for you.

OK, so now here is what is important to me, and you might relate to some of it. Think of me as your grandfather, as I am 79 years old and I have children and grandchildren.

Perhaps I am just old school, but what is important to me seems to be lost in our present generation. What is that you may ask? Well, it’s love, family, caring, and taking care of the only earth we will ever have. What is important to me is my wife, kids and grandchildren, and my neighbors. Health, happiness, and peace are some places in there too. Security and a roof over my head and enough food to get by could be tossed in there as well.

One last thing is from the mouth of my wife and why she found value in me.

One day I picked her up for a date. When I got there I asked if it was OK to go mow my grandmothers’ lawn before we stated our date. So she sat there with her on the back porch while I did the mowing.

That really impressed her as she saw the love I had for my grandmother, and I could probably do the same with her.

Best of Everything from Central Texas.

Grandfather Dennis